Why can’t my sickness be cured??

i wish i could go back to the way things where..
putting my hand on the paper ..
and all the pain and hurt just coming out of me in simple strokes..
some say i have no more anger inside of me..
i say the anger has just started rotting me from the inside out!!
people say it’s everyone else’s fault..
the anger is mine and the effects of it i deal with..
things where better back when things where right..
though very screwed up..
at least there was some feeling in what i said..
“just because you done with the past, doesn’t mean it’s done with you”
my wish is not to forget about everything..
just stop being in a middle ground..
not letting go of the past..
and not moving into a safe place.
i wish i could go back to the way things where..
at least..
i had the reason then!!

* Bright white, acid-free sketching paper with slight surface texture (Bienfang) * Charcoal leads/pencils (Derwent) * Graphite Chunk (General's) * Fabric paint (Camel-Black) *